An Interview With... JC - JC (messiah)

If you don't know who he is yet, fellow Brit JC is the author of JC blog. He writes poetry, music and his own lyrics. He's one cool guy!

If you haven't checked out his Blog yet, please click on the link above... after you've read this post of course ;)

Please note that this was an email questionnaire, therefore it was impractical to go into extra detail. Nevertheless, I'm sure you'll find it's content interesting.

Intro...

Age: 19
Occupation/Student: forensic student
Country and State/County: nottz/uk
Gay/Bisexual/Confused: ermm bi sexual but turning more gay and also confused

Hobbies/Interests/Pastimes: making music, drinking, relaxing, having a laught

Likes/Dislikes: Hmm well i like to drive, i like to get wasted, i dislike ppl who irate me. I like a lot of stuff and dislike a lot of stuff

Loves/Hates: Isn’t this kinda the same as like and dislike? I love my dead rabbit, replaced by a rabbit not love as much, i love to know to that i have a time limit, hate to know that i am just human.love making ppl laught, but hate when there laught when it is not funny.

Dreams/Aspirations/Goals:
Dream: to be a singer rapper, but just live in a normal house and life with the fame and money
Goals: to be a copper, and police dog and find someone to love.

The questions…

Why have you agreed to participate in these interviews?
The same reason why i agreed to give blood, why not,hopefully i can do good and give my side of the world that i am trying to find.

What are your thoughts/beliefs about being gay is predetermined or a conscious choice?
Never 1 or 2, always both, we are born the mind, and we are shaped to be the way we are, it is not a choice, but a name

When did you realise that you were gay/bi?
errrmm kinda know when i was about 14/15, but kinda just ignored it and hope it would pass.

Realising it and accepting it are very different. What are your thoughts/feelings on that distinction, and have you accepted it?
As time comes by i think we all accept it, it like looking at the guy in the wheel chair, we make fun of him of not being to walk, and think thankgod i can walk, thinking i will never be like that, thinking it cant happen to me, we can easily realise it but many are scared to accept it, its like there just don’t teach u for this to happen

What do you think of the argument that there is no such thing as being bisexual… you’re either gay or straight and that you‘re lying to yourself because you won‘t admit you‘re actually gay?
i think this can be true, i think many young guys are bi, but as life goes on there more likely straight or gay, i just don’t think there wanna label them self yet

Do you feel that your life has been “easier” and people are more accepting of you as a bisexual person, than if you were gay?
Yepo, cause people can still feel there can still relate about somthing, there can still say, check out that girl.

Who are you “out” to (no names of course, just… family, friends, work/school colleagues, everybody, nobody etc.)?
Ermmm my mates, and probabal some strangers know, and i think my sister has a idea.
Well i got to tell my family one day, and i also think thats the hardest but there got plans for u, cause there care.

How difficult was it for you?
My kinda out, was kinda easy, i used a test reaction to my mate, with a text

Did you come “out” by choice, or were you “outed” by somebody else?
Kinda by choice and not, it was killing me inside not be quite wat i wasn’t and not telling my mates

What reactions did you receive?
I got a hug and there saying there all cool with it, like there been expecting it

Overall, would you say it was a positive or negative experience, and are you now glad it‘s happened?
I say its a step to the fututure, the time to have fun

What fears/worries do you have about living as a gay/bi guy?
Being ridiculed, not being accepted, being beaten up, being alone

Have you faced and/or overcome prejudice toward you (from anybody) for being gay/bi?
Nope not yet, and if i do, i just joke it off or we go toe to toe.

What resources and other means of support have been available to you whilst growing-up?
Ermmmmmmmmmmm, watcha dodoa duno wnuino

Have you ever searched for help or do you just “grin and bear” everything and hope you’ll be okay?:
Help for what, i have searched for help, when it comes too much and u need to share the problems

If you have searched for help, what support have you received to help you deal with feelings, questions, issues, prejudice, violence etc. from friends (incl. On-line), relatives, teachers, co-workers etc?
I get the advice, but it isn’t the advice that helps, it that some one is listening, that someone care, and that helps

Do you feel there are enough organisations (like drop-in centres that you could visit) in your locality to help the GLBT community?
What is glbt, where is this community, is there one is my place

Would you use them if there was, or would you be too embarrassed, ashamed or paranoid (in case somebody you knew saw you enter one) to visit them anyway?
Paranoid if someone saw me walked into one yes, don’t know if i visted one, i probably go to see all the hots guys

How do you think the Internet has helped gay/bi people since it really became mainstream in the 90’s?
Try to imagine what it was like to be gay/bi (say 30+ years, and more, ago) and have no resources or support structure at all. Even if you lived in a major city, access to any resources were few and far between. Being gay/bi was taboo and to admit to being it was generally an invitation to ridicule and abuse, you literally took your life in your hands if you were open about your sexuality. I fear it was worse in the USA.
yes it seems too doesn’t it, the internet is great for this, because we don’t have to fear about being founded so we can connect.

How do you think you would have coped with growing up in those times?
Hmm i go mad, live a lie, it wouldn’t be pretty, trust me

What do you think your life would be like now?
i imagine a black and white picture, with a tint of blue

What do you think is the best resource, and why?
ermmm can i say me, please let me say me

Do you feel safer hiding behind anonymity?
yes, we all need a hididng place. A place away from the place.but with a window

Do you want a family?
i do, but wat kinda life wil i have, is it socalily posisble

Would you enter into a “fake” straight relationship to achieve this, or would you consider other options like adoption and surrogacy?
knowing me, straight

Drawing on your own experiences, what advice would you give to other gay/bi guys, especially the younger generation who may still be afraid to seek/ask for help?
come out to ur mates, but i mean the really good ones, never hide who u are, but don’t be a fool.be smart, but don’t be too quick to judge ur self, just have fun

Is there anything else you’d like to add?:
yes do to the unforeseen sight of the uk, i need to ask u a question, and my question is...
Do u think this makes my bum look big in this. Hmmm, does it?


So… based on your life to date as a bisexual teenager:

If you could turn back time and live a new life there may be things you’d choose to do differently, or there may be things you’d change… things that are/were beyond your control. The following questions are purely fantasy, but it will be interesting to compare these answers to those of the previous "reality" questions.

Would you choose to be gay, bi or straight?
if could chose, obvious the answear would be straight, why wouldn’t it be, but and there is always a but, i wouldn’t, and i gues that wouldn’t, gues i know i couldn’t, i know that wouldn’t be me and i be living in some parell universe, the question is why chose.

What other choices would you make about things like if or when you‘d “come out” and who to? Would you choose to be ”straight acting” or “camp“ ? (write about as many choices as you want)
i am out to my mates, and i try to think i am straight acting, but when would i like to come out, as soon as i knew, i and i gues i did, as i always half know but wasn’t quite sure, sometimes i still i am, and to my parents i wouldn’t want to let, only when i have a job, a nice house and stable in the life.

Would you choose to live in a different place?
Sunny australia, or france, seem very nice, britian seems very dull, i lived here and it seems like i been here to long, like a new part of a life, needs a fresh start.

Would you choose to live in a different time?
Sometimes i feel like i am in the wrong time, i liked the 90’s, but wat about the future, couldn’t say till i know what it was like

What would you choose to change about your parents?
More richer, i gues, and my mum is alright, but my dad is alright, but we does come from the 1950’s where the views of today wasn’t heard of, maybe he will be alright but i know there will also be that thing in the back of his mind, saying if only.

What would you choose to change about your siblings?
Errmm more brothers my age, that would be cool, having sister around ur age can send u crazy.

What would you choose to change about your looks (from the neck up)?
ermm i think my skin, nothing really, if a person asked, i would tell u to do what u think

What would you change about the rest of your body?
I will do what ever one would do, be more toned, but i gues i can do that if i worked out

What personality traits would you choose to lose?
Hmmm i guess to loose the essence of being the guy who is lost. Guess i don’t want to be lost no more.

What personality traits would you choose to have?
More confidence, to do anything that i want and to tell it like it is., and why cause i want to do, but i wont

With the exception of things beyond our power to influence or control, we live our lives by the choices we make. Do you agree with this statement?
what i agree with is that we live by examples we lived and each person will live as there need to be, why some will make the choices to make sense, and the rest will go with the flow to see where end up, and is it beyond our power of influence or control, in the end i gues it always will be.

Do you think that choices and decisions are the same thing?
A choice is somthing we think about while the decisions is the final act of the choice we have taken and we try to stick by it

Finally, if it had been possible to make all the choices and changes in questions above, please state what you think your life would be like at this moment in time:
Hmmm with better parents, with better looks and a nice coolo place, somthing beyond my control i think, don’t ya agree?