Introduction.

I’d been following the brilliant Always Hard blog by Josh for some time (can’t remember how I stumbled upon it) and kept discovering new blogs along the way.

I would read them and laugh or cry at them (I’m a really emotional person btw, but so not a drama queen), but I was always afraid to leave a comment in case people thought “who the fuck is this guy??”
Anyway, recently I just thought wtf and started to leave comments/advice for complete strangers. After all, aren’t strangers just friends that you haven’t made or met yet?

All you bloggers (the ones that I follow) have inspired me to do this and I thank each and every one of you!!!!

If anybody is interested I’m going to post some of the ups and downs of my life so far, in no particular order and seeing as there will probably be a lot more downs than ups, I’ll try to “lighten” them up.

First some background (probably far too long a post for my first one…sorry!)

My name is Colin (but I prefer Col) and I’m a 44yr old out gay guy living in the UK.
I had a crappy childhood (in fact I’ve had a crappy life), and went through all the troubles, doubts and questions that you are going/have been through . Things like: unrequited love, loneliness, obsession…you know the kind of things I mean.

I never did, and still don’t, have anybody to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with.
I’ve always dealt with these things on my own and It has made me a stronger person because of that.

Actually, I did have help from my youngest brother when I came out but I’ll tell you about that another time.

I’ve always been the one that friends and family come to with their troubles but nobody ever seems to have time to listen to mine, so I gave up trying a long, long time ago.
I don’t mind really because I’ve always thought of others before myself, I’m sooo not a selfish person, but like everybody else I really would like to have somebody to love and somebody to love me!!

I know it’s my own fault that I haven’t got somebody and that’s because I’m a very shy person and totally lacking in self confidence (that was knocked out of me as a kid, but that’s another story).
That’s not strictly true, I’ve got loads of confidence in work situations, but none in social situations unless I’ve had a few drinks.

Gaining self confidence is the most important thing for me right now because I’ve decided, and already put certain things in motion, that I’m going to live abroad within the next two years…can‘t wait.

I have been more positive about my future for the past 12 months than at any other time in my life.

I’ll always think of others, that’s just the way I am, but I’m also going to think of myself a lot more from now on.

Enough rambling for now…I did warn you it was long!

Thanks for taking the time to read this (If anybody has…lol)


Comments, emails, chat are all very welcome.

Bye for now,
Col