Please note that this was an email questionnaire, therefore it was impractical to go into extra detail. Nevertheless, I'm sure you'll find it's content interesting.
Introduction...
Name: Peter
Age: 17
Occupation/Student: Student
Country and State/County: Pennsylvania, USA
Gay/Bisexual/Confused: Gay
Hobbies/Interests/Pastimes:
Masturbation lol.
Likes/Dislikes:
Likes: Ships, James Bond.
Dislikes: Certain people….one of them writes this blog… lol just kidding.
Loves/Hates:
Loves: The Titanic.
Hates: Attention seekers. At least ones who over seek.
Dreams/Aspirations/Goals:
To become a Naval Architect…..maybe.
The questions…
Why have you agreed to participate in these interviews?
I was forced!!!! Lol no, I wanted to cos... well I have no idea why lol.
What are your thoughts/beliefs about being gay is predetermined or a conscious choice?
Who would choose to be part of a minority so you can get picked on and all that?
When did you realise that you were gay?
I knew that I was different very young, but I didn’t officially start labeling myself as gay until I was about 15 years old maybe.
Realising it and accepting it are very different. What are your thoughts/feelings on that distinction, and have you accepted it?
I have accepted it. I know that it is something that I can’t change so there is no reason not to accept it.
Who are you “out” to ?
Other gay people on here and one of my friends in real life.
How difficult was it for you to "come out"?
It took a while to get up the courage, but after it was all said and done with I felt better.
Did you "come out” by choice, or were you “outed” by somebody else?
By choice.
What reactions did you receive?
A neutral one.
Overall, would you say it was a positive or negative experience, and are you now glad it‘s happened?
Even though it was only to one person, that made me feel so much better inside. I’d have to say it was a positive one.
What fears/worries do you have about living as a gay guy?
Hmmm, this one’s a tuffy. I don’t know really.
How have you faced and/or overcome prejudice toward you (from anybody) for being gay?
No…not yet.
What resources and other means of support were available to you whilst growing-up?
Internet.
What difference has the use of, or lack of, resources and support made to your life?
Definitely helped me in a lot of ways. I can’t imagine living without the internet.
Have you ever searched for help or do you just “grin and bear” everything and hope you’ll be okay?
Both, but I’m sure I have stuck it out without help more than I have asked or searched for it.
If you have searched for help, what support have you received to help you deal with feelings, questions, issues, prejudice, violence etc. from friends (incl. On-line), relatives, teachers, co-workers etc?
Only the best kind from my cyber pals ^_^. Even if I don’t always follow it.
Do you feel there are enough organisations (like drop-in centres that you could visit) in your locality to help the GLBT community?
I don’t know. I don’t use them so I really don’t even know what GLBT stands for, but I don’t think there are any around here.
Would you use them if there was, or would you be too embarrassed, ashamed or paranoid (in case somebody you knew saw you enter one) to visit them anyway?
I would be way too shy, probably for all those reasons.
How do you think the Internet has helped gay/bi people since it really became mainstream in the 90’s?
(Try to imagine what it was like to be gay/bi (say 30+ years, and more, ago) and have no resources or support structure at all. Even if you lived in a major city, access to any resources were few and far between. Being gay/bi was taboo and to admit to being it was generally an invitation to ridicule and abuse, you literally took your life in your hands if you were open about your sexuality. I fear it was worse in the USA.)
It has been a great help to me, so I’m sure others have taken advantage of it. If they haven’t, then they really need to.
How do you think you would have coped with growing up in those times?
Probably not as well as I am today.
What do you think your life would be like now?
I would probably not be out to anyone, so therefore I would be a lot lonelier.
What do you think is the best resource, and why?
Blogging, because you meet so many people here who are like you, and others who want to help.
Do you feel safer hiding behind anonymity?
I don’t have a real concern for my safety here, but I probably would if I was somewhere else.
When growing up, were both mum & dad on the scene? Who do you think had the bigger influence on you - your mum or your dad? Are any of your near relatives gay/bi?
Mom was definitely the biggest influence in my life. No gay/bi relatives that I know of.
Do you want to have a family of your own?
Not really, just someone to be with.
Would you enter into a “fake” straight relationship to achieve this, or would you consider other options like adoption and surrogacy?
No kids for me. But I would not enter into a straight relationship just to be with someone.
Drawing on your own experiences, what advice would you give to other gay guys, especially the younger generation who may still be afraid to seek/ask for help?
Start your own blog!! It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I have made a bunch of friends that I can actually talk to here.
Is there anything else you’d like to add?
You can’t change it so don’t worry about it so much. If you have an interest in guys then you are probably gay or at least bi. Don’t try to change that.
Based on your life to date as a gay teenager...
If you could turn back time and live a new life, there may be things you’d choose to do differently. There may be things you’d change… things that are/were beyond your control. The following questions are purely fantasy, but it will be interesting to compare these answers to those of the previous "reality" questions.
Would you choose to be gay, bi or straight?
Straight because they have an easier live it seems than gays.
What other choices would you make, for example about "coming out", or if you're (and I'm not labelling, just using common descriptions etc) "camp"... choosing to be "straight acting" and vice-versa? (List as many as you want to)
Ummm….not sure.
Would you choose to live in a different place?
No, not really. I like my little town.
Would you choose to live in a different time?
No way!!! This is the best time in history to live….maybe that’s because I didn’t live in any other time period… o_O
What would you choose to change about your parents?
Their marital status. I would have preferred to have parents who aren’t divorced.
If you don’t have any siblings would you choose to have some?
I have 4 brothers and that’s way more than enough!!!
What would you choose to change about your looks (from the neck up)?
I would definitely not want to have the facial paralysis.
What would you change about the rest of your body?
Lol. I don’t know.
What personality traits would you choose to lose?
Ah, defiantly procrastination and laziness... shouldn’t I be doing school work right now? lol.
What personality traits would you choose to have?
Ummm… I don’t know.
With the exception of things beyond our power to influence or control, our lives are shaped by the choices we make. Do you agree with this statement?
Yes and no. I think the little things are influenced by us, but not the big things. I just made that up lol.
Do you think that choices and decisions are the same thing?
Lol, that is such a philosophical question (and the last one wasn’t?). I have no answer.
Finally, if it had been possible to make all the choices and changes in questions above, please state what you think your life would be like at this moment in time:
A little better than it is now.
Posts
Thanks Peter :)
ReplyDeleteI liked your answer about which era you would like to grow up ie. saying now is a good time to grow up in. On the flipside of that, and perhaps some advice to the older bloggers like myself - it is indeed a good time to grow up in, and we all are growing each day. We have amazing resources compared to a couple of decades ago, so use them. It is never too late to discover - or rediscover - oneself. It is never to late to embrace who you are, even if it is by taking small steps like making the occasional comment, or following a blog or two.
Thanks again for the interview Col..
Good interview. The Peter I've become acquainted with through the internet comes through very well.
ReplyDeleteFYI, Peter, if Col didn't already tell you, GLBT stands for gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and transgendered.
another fascinating interview Col, and thanks Peter, for telling us about yourself. i'd definitely agree that now is a good time to grow up in, for gays particularly. and guess what - we've got at least two things in common - procrastination and laziness. coolo. :)
ReplyDeletetorchy!