Kyle is the author of Kyle's Hot Spot! and he's a wonderful young man. He has a wicked sense of humour and he seems to be a very caring and sensitive guy too, somebody whom you would be proud to call "friend."
EDIT: Since this interview, way back in January, Kyle seems to have fallen off the map. Torchy! has already put out a call to his readers to see if anybody has heard from him, but Bob (cvn70) was the only guy who was able to offer any information at all. Even that was not very recent, so, I'm asking again... If anybody has any information about Kyle, please let us know. If it's only to say that he's ok, or (God forbid) he's not... then that at least is better than knowing nothing.
Kyle: If you're reading this... there are a lot of worried people out here. Please, please contact one of us!!!
If you haven't checked out his Blog yet, please click on the link above... after you've read this post of course ;)
Please note that this was an email questionnaire, therefore it was impractical to go into extra detail. Nevertheless, I'm sure you'll find it's content interesting.
Introduction...
Name: Kyle
Age: 15
Occupation/Student: Student
Country and State/County: USA, Virginia
Gay/Bisexual/Confused: Gay (and confused sometimes hehe)
Hobbies/Interests/Pastimes:
Music, men, books, men, games, men, cats, men. Oh and men.
Likes/Dislikes:
I dislike mean people, people who judge other people. I like all kinds of music, mostly rock. I like PanicAtTheDisco the most. I like Brad Pitt (who doesnt lol).
Loves/Hates:
I dont hate anybody but i do hate what people do sometimes. I love my parents even tho i don't like my mom sometimes. I love my friend Tasha probly more than anybody. Oh and I love animals especially cats.
Dreams/Aspirations/Goals:
I want to be a veterinarian and I also want to meet a hot guy and get married and live happily ever after lol.
The questions…
Why have you agreed to participate in these interviews?
Because i love talking about myself haha.
What are your thoughts/beliefs about being gay is predetermined or a conscious choice?
I don't know if its predetermined or not but i do know that its for sure NOT a choice.
When did you realise that you were gay/bi?
Age 11, but I think in some ways i always knew it, or at least that i was different in some way.
Realising it and accepting it are very different. What are your thoughts/feelings on that distinction, and have you accepted it?
I've accepted it, and im not in any kind of "oh I hate myself" thing, but it took me a while to get there, for a long time I thot I was just going thru a "phase" hehe.
Who are you “out” to?
Im out only to one of my friends. I do plan to be out to everybody as soon as i dont have to worry about getting kicked out and im on my own.
How difficult was it for you to "come out"?
With Tasha it was pretty easy because I'm pretty sure she already knew it.
Did you "come out” by choice, or were you “outed” by somebody else?
By choice.
What reactions did you receive?
Tasha just laughed and said she knew it because she knew I was a uke (google uke if you don't know it lol) For real, she is great about it. She thinks it makes me *interesting* lol.
Overall, would you say it was a positive or negative experience, and are you now glad it‘s happened?
Positive, and yes, I'm glad I told her.
What fears/worries do you have about living as a gay/bi guy?
None really, at least not after i move away from this place and live in a real city. I think people in cities are much more accepting.
How have you faced and/or overcome prejudice toward you (from anybody) for being gay/bi? Not personally no, but you do hear all kinds of anti-gay things from people when they don't know they are talking about YOU. Well and there's Frank who keeps calling me fairy boy, but i dont care about him.
What resources and other means of support have been available to you whilst growing-up?
Just Tasha, she is great and also theres some great sites on the internet about being gay that made me know it was ok. One of them is PFLAG.
What difference has the use of, or lack of, resources and support made to your life?
If it wasnt for the internet Id probly still think i was the only gay guy in the world lol.
Have you ever searched for help or do you just “grin and bear” everything and hope you’ll be okay?
Mostly I just sort of stumble into the help i need when i need it.
If you have searched for help, what support have you received to help you deal with feelings, questions, issues, prejudice, violence etc. from friends (incl. On-line), relatives, teachers, co-workers etc?
Online friends have been great, and Tasha has been great too.
Do you feel there are enough organisations (like drop-in centres that you could visit) in your locality to help the GLBT community?
There are NO places like that anywhere near where I live.
Would you use them if there was, or would you be too embarrassed, ashamed or paranoid (in case somebody you knew saw you enter one) to visit them anyway?
I'm not sure how i could go there without outing myself.
How do you think the Internet has helped gay/bi people since it really became mainstream in the 90’s?
Well Ive pretty much always had the internet, and this sounds strange but i found gay porn before i found anything else about being gay, and this sounds even stranger but the porn was so great not only because its horny hehe, but because it showed me that the stuff i was thinking about really did happen and that i wasn't the only one. It would have been a lot harder without the internet.
Try to imagine what it was like to be gay/bi (say 30+ years, and more, ago) and have no resources or support structure at all. Even if you lived in a major city, access to any resources were few and far between. Being gay/bi was taboo and to admit to being it was generally an invitation to ridicule and abuse, you literally took your life in your hands if you were open about your sexuality. I fear it was worse in the USA.
How do you think you would have coped with growing up in those times?
I can't even imagine it. Id probly stay in the closet forever.
What do you think your life would be like now?
Lonely.
What do you think is the best resource, and why?
I dont think anything is better than a real live friend you can talk too.
Do you feel safer hiding behind anonymity?
Yes, for now.
When growing up, were both mum & dad on the scene? Who do you think had the bigger influence on you - your mum or your dad? Are any of your near relatives gay/bi?
About my parents, they got divorced about well almost 4 yrs ago now and my dad has moved away. I only see him maybe a couple times a year. I guess my mom has had the biggest influence on me and not really in a good way, she's a alcoholic and thats mostly why i dont drink. My dad is a good man, i wish i was living with him instead of my mom. I love my mom don't get me wrong, but i wish she would at least try to quit drinking.
About if my parents had anything to do with my being gay--I have no idea at all. It doesn't seem like it but who knows?
Do you want to have a family of your own?
Yes.
Would you enter into a “fake” straight relationship to achieve this, or would you consider other options like adoption and surrogacy?
No I would never do that, my husband and i will adopt a baby.
Drawing on your own experiences, what advice would you give to other gay/bi guys, especially the younger generation who may still be afraid to seek/ask for help?
I'd just tell anybody who doesn't know that they are not alone, and that they are not sick or evil or weird they are just gay the way God made them to be! And you got to deal with anti-gay people in reality, but what they THINK does NOT MATTER. You are a good person, gay or not, if YOU CHOOSE to be a good person.
Is there anything else you’d like to add?
Yes, when do we get the sex questions??? Hehe yeah Im kind of pervy sometimes. Um, sorry.
Based on your life to date as a gay teenager, and If you could turn back time and live a new life, there may be things you’d choose to do differently. There may be things you’d change… things that are/were beyond your control. The following questions are purely fantasy, but it will be interesting to compare these answers to those of the previous "reality" questions.
Would you choose to be gay, bi or straight?
Gay, because I believe that is how God made me to be, and really I can't even imagine being straight, I wouldn't be me. Also what would I do about all the hawt men if I was not gay???? hehe
What other choices would you make, for example about "coming out", or if you're (and I'm not labelling, just using common descriptions etc) "camp"... choosing to be "straight acting" and vice-versa? (List as many as you want to)
I guess i would choose to do the coming out thing the way i am now, a little at a time. About being straight acting, well I guess im not totally straight acting because some ppl have already figured out Im gay, but I don't know what it is Im doing that gives it away because I don't think Im "acting" at all, its just who i am.
Would you choose to live in a different place?
YES!! I see these youtube vids of guys my age in cities like New York or places like that and they are totally out and they even kiss each other in public and nobody thinks its a big deal. I live in a place where if I did that Id probly get shot, so yeah, that's a BIG YES.
Would you choose to live in a different time?
Sometimes i wish i lived in ancient Greece lol. But for real, no. I would want to live in this time.
What would you choose to change about your parents?
1--I wish my mom was sober 2--I wish they didn't get divorced 3--I wish they were more accepting about gay people.
If you don’t have any siblings would you choose to have some?
Maybe a sister would be ok, never really thot about it much.
What would you choose to change about your looks (from the neck up)?
I wish my lips were bigger lol.
What would you change about the rest of your body?
I wish i was more muscular and less skinny.
What personality traits would you choose to lose?
Well you wouldn't know it from things i say on the internet, but in real life im pretty shy and i dont make friends very easily, so i wish i wasn't so shy.
What personality traits would you choose to have?
Courage, which maybe i do have but Ive never had that tested very much.
With the exception of things beyond our power to influence or control, our lives are shaped by the choices we make. Do you agree with this statement?
Yes, I believe that we have free will.
Do you think that choices and decisions are the same thing?
Hmmm im not sure i understand this question. I think they ARE the same thing, but I DONT think "preferences" are the same thing as "choices" or "decisions" if thats where you are coming from here. A "preference" like being gay (or liking chocolate for that matter) is not something you can control, a choice or decision IS something you can control.
Finally, if it had been possible to make all the choices and changes in questions above, please state what you think your life would be like at this moment in time:
Probably not a whole lot different except Id have bigger lips and more muscles and be less shy lol. I guess Im actually pretty ok with how my life is as it is, even if things arent perfect. Oh, well yeah, if my mom was sober that would make a huge difference, so I guess Ill still wish for that one.
EDIT: Since this interview, way back in January, Kyle seems to have fallen off the map. Torchy! has already put out a call to his readers to see if anybody has heard from him, but Bob (cvn70) was the only guy who was able to offer any information at all. Even that was not very recent, so, I'm asking again... If anybody has any information about Kyle, please let us know. If it's only to say that he's ok, or (God forbid) he's not... then that at least is better than knowing nothing.
Kyle: If you're reading this... there are a lot of worried people out here. Please, please contact one of us!!!
If you haven't checked out his Blog yet, please click on the link above... after you've read this post of course ;)
Please note that this was an email questionnaire, therefore it was impractical to go into extra detail. Nevertheless, I'm sure you'll find it's content interesting.
Introduction...
Name: Kyle
Age: 15
Occupation/Student: Student
Country and State/County: USA, Virginia
Gay/Bisexual/Confused: Gay (and confused sometimes hehe)
Hobbies/Interests/Pastimes:
Music, men, books, men, games, men, cats, men. Oh and men.
Likes/Dislikes:
I dislike mean people, people who judge other people. I like all kinds of music, mostly rock. I like PanicAtTheDisco the most. I like Brad Pitt (who doesnt lol).
Loves/Hates:
I dont hate anybody but i do hate what people do sometimes. I love my parents even tho i don't like my mom sometimes. I love my friend Tasha probly more than anybody. Oh and I love animals especially cats.
Dreams/Aspirations/Goals:
I want to be a veterinarian and I also want to meet a hot guy and get married and live happily ever after lol.
The questions…
Why have you agreed to participate in these interviews?
Because i love talking about myself haha.
What are your thoughts/beliefs about being gay is predetermined or a conscious choice?
I don't know if its predetermined or not but i do know that its for sure NOT a choice.
When did you realise that you were gay/bi?
Age 11, but I think in some ways i always knew it, or at least that i was different in some way.
Realising it and accepting it are very different. What are your thoughts/feelings on that distinction, and have you accepted it?
I've accepted it, and im not in any kind of "oh I hate myself" thing, but it took me a while to get there, for a long time I thot I was just going thru a "phase" hehe.
Who are you “out” to?
Im out only to one of my friends. I do plan to be out to everybody as soon as i dont have to worry about getting kicked out and im on my own.
How difficult was it for you to "come out"?
With Tasha it was pretty easy because I'm pretty sure she already knew it.
Did you "come out” by choice, or were you “outed” by somebody else?
By choice.
What reactions did you receive?
Tasha just laughed and said she knew it because she knew I was a uke (google uke if you don't know it lol) For real, she is great about it. She thinks it makes me *interesting* lol.
Overall, would you say it was a positive or negative experience, and are you now glad it‘s happened?
Positive, and yes, I'm glad I told her.
What fears/worries do you have about living as a gay/bi guy?
None really, at least not after i move away from this place and live in a real city. I think people in cities are much more accepting.
How have you faced and/or overcome prejudice toward you (from anybody) for being gay/bi? Not personally no, but you do hear all kinds of anti-gay things from people when they don't know they are talking about YOU. Well and there's Frank who keeps calling me fairy boy, but i dont care about him.
What resources and other means of support have been available to you whilst growing-up?
Just Tasha, she is great and also theres some great sites on the internet about being gay that made me know it was ok. One of them is PFLAG.
What difference has the use of, or lack of, resources and support made to your life?
If it wasnt for the internet Id probly still think i was the only gay guy in the world lol.
Have you ever searched for help or do you just “grin and bear” everything and hope you’ll be okay?
Mostly I just sort of stumble into the help i need when i need it.
If you have searched for help, what support have you received to help you deal with feelings, questions, issues, prejudice, violence etc. from friends (incl. On-line), relatives, teachers, co-workers etc?
Online friends have been great, and Tasha has been great too.
Do you feel there are enough organisations (like drop-in centres that you could visit) in your locality to help the GLBT community?
There are NO places like that anywhere near where I live.
Would you use them if there was, or would you be too embarrassed, ashamed or paranoid (in case somebody you knew saw you enter one) to visit them anyway?
I'm not sure how i could go there without outing myself.
How do you think the Internet has helped gay/bi people since it really became mainstream in the 90’s?
Well Ive pretty much always had the internet, and this sounds strange but i found gay porn before i found anything else about being gay, and this sounds even stranger but the porn was so great not only because its horny hehe, but because it showed me that the stuff i was thinking about really did happen and that i wasn't the only one. It would have been a lot harder without the internet.
Try to imagine what it was like to be gay/bi (say 30+ years, and more, ago) and have no resources or support structure at all. Even if you lived in a major city, access to any resources were few and far between. Being gay/bi was taboo and to admit to being it was generally an invitation to ridicule and abuse, you literally took your life in your hands if you were open about your sexuality. I fear it was worse in the USA.
How do you think you would have coped with growing up in those times?
I can't even imagine it. Id probly stay in the closet forever.
What do you think your life would be like now?
Lonely.
What do you think is the best resource, and why?
I dont think anything is better than a real live friend you can talk too.
Do you feel safer hiding behind anonymity?
Yes, for now.
When growing up, were both mum & dad on the scene? Who do you think had the bigger influence on you - your mum or your dad? Are any of your near relatives gay/bi?
About my parents, they got divorced about well almost 4 yrs ago now and my dad has moved away. I only see him maybe a couple times a year. I guess my mom has had the biggest influence on me and not really in a good way, she's a alcoholic and thats mostly why i dont drink. My dad is a good man, i wish i was living with him instead of my mom. I love my mom don't get me wrong, but i wish she would at least try to quit drinking.
About if my parents had anything to do with my being gay--I have no idea at all. It doesn't seem like it but who knows?
Do you want to have a family of your own?
Yes.
Would you enter into a “fake” straight relationship to achieve this, or would you consider other options like adoption and surrogacy?
No I would never do that, my husband and i will adopt a baby.
Drawing on your own experiences, what advice would you give to other gay/bi guys, especially the younger generation who may still be afraid to seek/ask for help?
I'd just tell anybody who doesn't know that they are not alone, and that they are not sick or evil or weird they are just gay the way God made them to be! And you got to deal with anti-gay people in reality, but what they THINK does NOT MATTER. You are a good person, gay or not, if YOU CHOOSE to be a good person.
Is there anything else you’d like to add?
Yes, when do we get the sex questions??? Hehe yeah Im kind of pervy sometimes. Um, sorry.
Based on your life to date as a gay teenager, and If you could turn back time and live a new life, there may be things you’d choose to do differently. There may be things you’d change… things that are/were beyond your control. The following questions are purely fantasy, but it will be interesting to compare these answers to those of the previous "reality" questions.
Would you choose to be gay, bi or straight?
Gay, because I believe that is how God made me to be, and really I can't even imagine being straight, I wouldn't be me. Also what would I do about all the hawt men if I was not gay???? hehe
What other choices would you make, for example about "coming out", or if you're (and I'm not labelling, just using common descriptions etc) "camp"... choosing to be "straight acting" and vice-versa? (List as many as you want to)
I guess i would choose to do the coming out thing the way i am now, a little at a time. About being straight acting, well I guess im not totally straight acting because some ppl have already figured out Im gay, but I don't know what it is Im doing that gives it away because I don't think Im "acting" at all, its just who i am.
Would you choose to live in a different place?
YES!! I see these youtube vids of guys my age in cities like New York or places like that and they are totally out and they even kiss each other in public and nobody thinks its a big deal. I live in a place where if I did that Id probly get shot, so yeah, that's a BIG YES.
Would you choose to live in a different time?
Sometimes i wish i lived in ancient Greece lol. But for real, no. I would want to live in this time.
What would you choose to change about your parents?
1--I wish my mom was sober 2--I wish they didn't get divorced 3--I wish they were more accepting about gay people.
If you don’t have any siblings would you choose to have some?
Maybe a sister would be ok, never really thot about it much.
What would you choose to change about your looks (from the neck up)?
I wish my lips were bigger lol.
What would you change about the rest of your body?
I wish i was more muscular and less skinny.
What personality traits would you choose to lose?
Well you wouldn't know it from things i say on the internet, but in real life im pretty shy and i dont make friends very easily, so i wish i wasn't so shy.
What personality traits would you choose to have?
Courage, which maybe i do have but Ive never had that tested very much.
With the exception of things beyond our power to influence or control, our lives are shaped by the choices we make. Do you agree with this statement?
Yes, I believe that we have free will.
Do you think that choices and decisions are the same thing?
Hmmm im not sure i understand this question. I think they ARE the same thing, but I DONT think "preferences" are the same thing as "choices" or "decisions" if thats where you are coming from here. A "preference" like being gay (or liking chocolate for that matter) is not something you can control, a choice or decision IS something you can control.
Finally, if it had been possible to make all the choices and changes in questions above, please state what you think your life would be like at this moment in time:
Probably not a whole lot different except Id have bigger lips and more muscles and be less shy lol. I guess Im actually pretty ok with how my life is as it is, even if things arent perfect. Oh, well yeah, if my mom was sober that would make a huge difference, so I guess Ill still wish for that one.
Posts
Seems we all felt the same. At the same age. So why is it that the we all felt so alone?
ReplyDeleteA lesson methinks.
Thanks for another cool interview. And thanks to Kyle.
And also hoping he surfaces again....
Col,
ReplyDeleteI uploaded a video this evening on my blog, it was nothing out of the ordinary or anything,just me talking into the camera,about life and stuff.
Apparently it was too extreme or indecent for google, so they deleted my entire blog. I do admit that I cursed a lot in the video, and was wearing only my boxers. I can't believe this happened to me. I put so much time, sweat and tears in my blog, now it is gone. I am not sure what to do next, maybe I'll make a new one this weekend, I have store everything on disc. But I don't know yet what to do.Please tell the readers what happened to my blog,sorry for the trouble.
Kyle is great! I really admire that young man.
ReplyDeleteThanks Col.
Patrick, maybe try another blog host like WordPress, LiveJournal, Tumblr etc. Blogger have a bad reputation for deleting gay blogs.
kyle
ReplyDeletewhere are you little man, you have just up and disappeared but you aren't missing. Just send an email to let me know you are ok
take care and be safe *hugs buddy
bob
yet another fine interview with a fine young man, Col. everything said here just reinforces the opinion of Klye that i already had, i.e. that he's a really special guy. as you say, i just hope to God he's ok and i wish we could could hear some news of him.
ReplyDeletei googled 'uke' - i had no idea that Kyle was Ukrainian.
torchy!
A great interview. Come out to the world when you're ready, Kyle. Or just stay like you are and be out to the cool blogger community. And don't worry about being skinny, if those pounds ever start hanging to the ribs and waist you'll be wishin for slim again ;-)
ReplyDelete